The Art Of The Ruined Orgasm

This was originally posted on

Last night I gave Thomas a ruined orgasm.  A ruined orgasm is when you stop providing stimulation to you man’s cock when he starts to cum or right before he starts to cum, thereby ruining his orgasm.  The man may feel a brief moment of pleasure but then it immediately vanishes leaving him frustrated.  I have to admit that I get a thrill from seeing his desperation and it is even more thrilling that he thanks me afterward.  He is like a puppy dog that is always happy…always wagging his tail no matter what I do.  Some may consider this cruel, but even Thomas enjoys when I ruin his orgasms because it is another form of control that he gets to experience.  To him a full blown orgasm is a very special privilege that he only experiences on a rare occasions. Denying his orgasm keeps him feeling submissive and controlled.  He craves this feeling and enjoys the mental game.

The thrill and arousal that I experience from his ruined orgasm is only a part of the reason I do it.  I also consider the ruined orgasm a powerful tool for controlling Thomas and keeping him obedient.  The biggest advantage of a ruined orgasm is that it allows the man some release but avoids the post orgasm “slump” that most men experience after an full orgasm.  The slump I am referring to is when the man loses all energy and loses interest in sex and pleasing the woman.  After a ruined orgasm, many men do not experience the slump or it is very brief.  Thomas will often remain hard after the ruined orgasm.  His level of horniness remains high as well.

Another advantage of the ruined orgasm is that it is one more tool to add to your bag of tricks for teasing and orgasm control.  You can tell your man that he is allowed to orgasm and then at the moment he is about to orgasm or as soon as it starts you release his cock.  Incorporating this into your T&D keeps your man guessing about what to expect.  Not only will it be a mystery of when he can orgasm but now he won’t even know if it will be a full orgasm or ruined orgasm.  Ruining his orgasm also prolongs his denial period. He gets some release but not a full orgasm.  Therefore you can prolong the timeframe of when he is allowed a full orgasm by slipping in a few ruined orgasms.

One final benefit that I would like to point out is that it can be used as a punishment.  If your man has been naughty or simply not meeting your expectations, you can announce that the next orgasm (or next 2, 3, etc.) will be ruined.

Now that I covered the purpose of the ruined orgasm, let’s go over some methods of how to ruin the orgasm.  As the title of this blog indicates, it is more of an art than a science.  There are many techniques and approaches to the ruined orgasm. You can get very creative with it.  Each person is different and as you get to know your man’s reactions, you can adjust your techniques to maximize his teasing.

The most basic approach is to stroke his cock and then at the moment he first spurts you release his cock and let it twitch and spurt on its own.  He will experience very brief pleasure at the first spurt but then once you release and there is no friction the orgasm becomes ruined and he is left frustrated.  This is a good way to introduce him to the ruined orgasm.  In my college days I would often do this with guys.  Back then I did it more for teasing then orgasm control. It was a bit cruel I guess but I loved it.  Funny thing was, the most guys would want to come back for me. I think they just never experienced a girl that paid so much attention to their cock. lol.

Another technique is to release his cock before he starts to cum.  This may take some practice because you have to anticipate when the orgasm is coming.  If you spend a considerable amount of time teasing your guy or if he has been denied an orgasm for a long period of time, this becomes easier to do.  With Thomas, I will often bring him to the edge of orgasm over and over again, stopping before he has an orgasm.  I will do this for 30 or more minutes. Usually by then he is mush and can barely control himself.  If I decide to go the ruined orgasm route, I will lightly stroke his cock with one or two fingers.  It literally twitches and bobs as he tries to hold back his orgasm.  At this point, if I gave him permission to orgasm, I could stroke with one finger and then he would shoot.  I prefer to tell him to try not to orgasm.  I enjoy seeing him struggle.  He eventually gets to a point where he can’t hold back.  The fun part with this is that I can do a stroke or two and then watch his cock as he struggles to prevent his orgasms.  There have been times when I have stroked his cock and then watched him struggle for 20 or 30 seconds and then he spurted without me touching him.  That is art!  It is beauty to see him struggle and work so hard to please and obey me.  It is also a power rush to know that I control him so much and that no matter how hard he tries he can not stop me from giving him an orgasm.  What a mind fuck for him!  In these situations I don’t feel that it is fair to punish him for having an orgasm without permission.  However,  I usually give him the disappointed look and tell him how weak he is.

The variations (both mental and physical) you can apply to the above two techniques are endless and that’s what makes is fun.  Some variations to experiment with:

  •  Announce the ruined orgasm ahead of time or surprise him
  • Tell him to try and orgasm while you tease him or tell him try not to orgasm while you tease him.  Imagine the fun of him trying to orgasm only to have you pull away at the last second and leave him with nothing.  Do this a few times and then send him over the edge and let go.
  • Use your hands, mouth, tongue, panties, feathers, etc. to tease him. One of the most interesting videos I watched was a woman that held her man’s cock straight up and she very slowly licked from bottom  to top until he spurted.
  • Make him ruin the orgasm himself.  This is a good test of his loyalty. Will he let go before he spurts (bonus points for him), at the first spurt (good boy), or will he push the envelope and hold on a little longer after he spurts (bad boy.  Punishment time!).
  • Combine with anal pleasure.  Stimulating the prostate will cause his cum to leak-out more.  Some women use this technique regularly to “milk” their man so that he can go very long periods without a orgasm.

Experiment and have fun with the variations.  I think it is great to always keep Thomas guessing as to what will happen next.  I want to share a ruined orgasm experience that I had with Thomas that absolutely drove him crazy for days afterwards but it has literally taking me over two weeks to write this post because I have been busy so I will share that experience in a follow-up post.

-Mz Kaylee

Have your say