The Alpha Cuckold Dilemma

The following post was originally sourced from

It’s been a while since I opened up from a journaling perspective, and I thought this would be a good place to dive back in because being an Alpha Cuckold is a confusing mindset.

Society has changed in a big way over the last 20 years, but even though more and more women find themselves in a position of power, it seems to me that most are, at least on a primal level, attracted to strong men. That is at least half of my personality, but there is no question I have a strong lean towards giving away my power.

I think the biggest misconception is that a man offering a cuckold relationship to a woman is weak. It’s easy to understand why, because many of the cuckold types I see trolling about online do embrace that persona. But for many of us I think it feels like a desperate reach to experience something we crave. It’s not totally real, but not totally fake either.

My background is sports and held my own for years on a football field and hockey rink at the college level. I have both kicked ass and gotten my ass kicked and walked away a stronger person. I am not afraid of contact or walking into an important business meeting and taking charge. But, like most things in life, my personality seems to run on a sliding scale.

Just like the powerful woman who craves being controlled on some level. That is my dilemma and to walk that fence can be tricky. In many ways it has to evolve in a “separate life.”

When I first discovered cuckolding, it hit me hard. It seemed crazy, and completely out of tune with everything I’d been taught, but part of it shot a charge of electricity into my soul. Something about it seemed perfect. The link that had been missing through all of my marginal relationships that didn’t go anywhere.

On some level, I loved the contrast of control and letting go. I’ve always been drawn to strong, intelligent women that go after what they want. They make me feel alive and bring out the best in me as a person. I’ve also realized that part of this is because I am not necessarily built to be an alpha in the bedroom. For whatever reason, my charge does not come from pulling hair and pinning a woman against the wall while I fuck her senseless. It’s an occasional urge, but for the most part I am far more excited by the reality (or illusion) that she is always in control. I am serving her.

And as someone who serves her (and by this I don’t mean groveling at her feet all day and night) I want her to get what she wants. 90 percent of the time that means being her best friend. The one who can stimulate her intellectually and emotionally. One she loved to kiss and wake up with. One that fills her social desires.

But she needs that 10 percent, too. Not always, but occasionally she will want to let go and experience the raw sensuality of a sexually powerful man. Not only do I understand this, I find it exciting.

The more I am “around” cuckold conversations, the more I realize that I am not alone in my thoughts. In fact, many more seem to be discovering this lifestyle and finding it a way to build connection in their relationships.

On a genuinely primal level, we all have needs and it is a shame that so many have to stay buried deep inside because of fear or worry about someone else’s perception. I know this feeling well, and feel as though I’m finally understanding that it is okay. I am okay.

Have your say