Some Reasons Women Resist Cuckolding, And Advice (From A Woman) On How To Approach The Subject

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This is a reply I posted to a question asking for a woman’s perspective and I thought it would be interesting for others to read.

If you are trying to talk to your woman about adding cuckolding into your relationship you have to try and look at it from her perspective. Try and think like a woman. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

Most women have been groomed by society to feel ashamed of our sexuality. Even just desiring sex and having a libido has societal shame attached to it. Now, add any sort of religious beliefs on top of that societal shame. This causes the shame to grow even deeper roots. Women get shamed by both men and women for being sexual. So, there is the fear that has been planted in women by others.

Sometimes these fear roots run so deep that no amount of assurance will unearth them. My boyfriend and I are just starting into this together. It’s his fantasy, we both have experience in alternative lifestyles, and I’m still worried that he’s going to judge me… I know in my mind he won’t, but those fear roots run so deep that it doesn’t matter what I know about him, me, and our relationship. That’s a fear of mine that won’t ever go away, it will just lessen with time. So take things slow. Take baby steps. Maybe see if she’ll go to a swingers night just to see what it is without pressure to participate. Maybe start with even a smaller step than that but time and exposure helps.

There is the fear of the unknown. Once she has sex with someone else, she can’t undo that. If it hurts you, it could cause serious problems in you relationship. There’s no going back once that line has been crossed and that can be scary.

There is fear of strange men. Women have to have a healthy level of fear surrounding strange men because we are physically vulnerable and they can hurt us. I have my own safety rules I follow that make me feel safer (not safe, safe-er). I know that, as a women, I am never 100% safe around men. There is always a chance that any dude could fly off the rails and hurt me. This is also a fear that will never completely go away (nor should it for self preservation purposes).

So, ask her about her fears. Really listen to them and don’t blow them off. I can’t stand it when a guy I’m with blows off my concerns by saying something like, “Don’t worry babe, I’ll keep you safe!”… I just think in my head, “Not if some sex-crazed dude knocks your ass out first!”

Just ask questions and then ask her followup questions. Questions like, Can you give me an example? What do you mean when you said___ xyz? What do you think would make you feel safer? What can I do to make you feel more secure? You’ll only know if it’s fear or if she’s really not into it unless you communicate.

Also, you need to really figure out the specifics of why you fantasize about cuckolding. Yes, it turns you on, but what about it turns you on? Is it the humiliation/degradation that turns you on? Compersion? You think she’s really hot so you want to watch her with someone else? Know what it is that you are wanting to get out of it so that you can explain it to her if she asks. She will ask. She will want to know why you want to watch her fuck another dude and “Cause it turns me on” is not an adequate answer for a woman who is looking for an answer.

A man without solid answers opens up other fears in this type of situation such as, is he trying to trick me so that he can sleep with other women? Has he slept with another woman and is now trying to make up for it? Is he actually into dudes? Does he not think I’m attractive or want me and that’s why he’s trying to pass me off to someone else? Does he just consider me an object?

If you don’t confidently know yourself and why you want this, you’re going to be opening the door to more resistance.

Also, the last thing you want is for her to start roaming the internet looking up cuckolding on her own with no guidance. The picture that horned up dudes on the internet have painted of cuckolding will not appeal to 99.7% of women. If she gets it into her head that cuckolding is like the porn she sees, she will most likely RUN in the opposite direction. As a man, you have to try and think like your woman. Besides, isn’t that a big part of cucking? Putting your woman first?

There are a lot of really good resources out there that don’t involve sex crazed, horned up dudes you just have to dig through all the nasty bs to find them. Go that route and happy cucking!

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