Sadly, many marriages fail to survive a cuckold adventure. There are myriad reasons for this – the marriage was already weak, the couple never really planned anything, they picked the wrong guy for her to sleep with, and more – but the inescapable truth is that your marriage may not make it to the other side of cuckolding.
That being said, many marriages have thrived with a hotwife/cuckold arrangement. When it works well, everyone gets what they want and often more than they imagined was possible. My goal in this article is to help you and your partner decide if you have the kind of marriage that can thrive when cuckolding is introduced.
First Things First: Is Your Marriage Healthy and Happy?
Spend a little time in the world of alternative sexual lifestyles (cuckolding, hotwifing, swinging, BDSM play of all kinds, etc) and you discover that they’re almost never the solution to a marriage that’s already on the rocks. In fact, chances are good that if you’re marriage is struggling, introducing cuckolding is a surefire way to blow it up.
Under the best of circumstances, introducing a new sexual partner to your relationship adds an element of chaos. Having sex with a new person will have emotional and likely physical repercussions, and if there’s resentment built up between the married couple, those repercussions and that chaos will be like a giant wedge that falls between the two of you and inexorably pushes you apart.
Every cuckold experiences jealousy. It’s a natural and oftentimes enthralling part of the experience. However, if your marriage is struggling that jealousy may tear you apart instead of bringing you closer. It can be difficult to honestly assess the state of your marriage, but if you actually direct your brain to do so, it should come easily. Do you feel resentment towards your partner with any sort of frequency? Do you blame them for any unhappiness you feel?
If your biggest problem is that your sex life has gotten stale or that you both feel unsatisfied with the action in the bedroom, cuckolding may be the right answer for you. If you have years of unanswered resentments and frustrations built up, cuckolding will likely tear your marriage apart.
Emotional Consequences of Cuckolding
This is real, and something too few couples consider before jumping into cuckolding. There is almost always an emotional component to it, and it can be destructive. How you manage your reaction to that, as a couple and as individuals, can go a long way towards determining if your marriage will survive a new sexual lifestyle.
For Men – There are many elements that make cuckolding arousing for men. For each guy that’s into being cuckolded it’s generally a different combination that brings him pleasure. Some enjoy a sense of humiliation or being overtly and sometimes cruelly humiliated by their wife and her lover. Some find pleasure in seeing their wives pleasured. Some enjoy the anxiety that comes with knowing another man is fucking their wife, and hopefully doing it better. Some get intensely jealous.
What’s often most problematic for men into cuckolding is the deeply held societal programming that says a woman is supposed to be faithful to her husband. Though we’re in a time of great change with regards to the sexes, it is still seen as deeply humiliating for a man when his wife sleeps with someone else. Even if a married man finds that humiliation pleasurable or badly wants his wife to sleep with other men even if it’s not humiliating, the programming that lives in his subconscious may torture him and lead to emotional outbursts.
For Women – Some married women that venture into cuckolding with their husbands feel a great sense of guilt. This tends to come from the same type of societal programming that puts a great deal of pressure on women to be good wives and mothers, which typically includes being faithful. Even if her husband loves the idea of being a cuckold and watching or hearing about her sleeping with other men, the guilt may be impossible for a wife to avoid.
In a cuckold marriage, the woman is having sex with other men and is therefore almost certain to develop emotional attachments to those men. This is typically the most dangerous part of the lifestyle. It is most common when she has sex with the same man over the course of several weeks or months. During sex, hormones are released that effectively bond you to the person that’s making you climax. They’re almost impossible to ignore, so the effect will be felt.
This is the biggest risk factor to any cuckolding marriage. If the wife is not receiving emotional support and feeling loved by her husband, there’s a very good chance she’ll leave him for one of the new men she’s sleeping with. That’s why it’s of the utmost importance to make sure you have a strong marriage before you jump into cuckolding.
Fantasy is Different than Reality
Admittedly, this is largely for the men out there, but it’s an important point. Chances are good that the cuckolding fantasies you’ve been having for years won’t match up to reality. The sex your wife has with another man might be bad the first time out. She might not be willing to indulge in the specific dirty talk you desire. Maybe she’ll never be willing to have unprotected sex with someone.
You need to consider what sort of cuckolding pleasures it will take to make you happy. If it’s a very specific and kinky fantasy, check with her first before you jump into the deep end. It’s entirely possible your wife will be on board for doing anything and everything you desire.
Communication is Key in a Cuckolding Marriage
Good communication is the key to making any marriage work, but it’s especially important if you’re going to get into cuckolding. If something is making you uncomfortable, you need to be clear about it. Nothing will destroy this type of relationship faster than a bad experience where one of you feels like you weren’t protected.
You can practice your communication skills by sharing your fantasies with each other, because communicating is about more than talking. It’s about hearing what your partner is saying, understanding what they’re saying, and accepting what they’re saying. It’s about being open and welcoming and empathetic. So before you dive into the world of real cuckolding, try a bit of sharing in the bedroom and see how that goes.